Golly, I don’t even know what I’m saying before. Once again, I swear the writers of Week of Our Lives have been reading my forum posts, because I was just saying the other day that they never resolved the Lucius treasure hunt plot-line. You know the one…it was when Lucius found an old map in his grandfather’s basement that supposedly led to the hidden treasure of the Phillip Island Pirate Guild, the most feared pirate guild in history. It was even stamped with their signature penguin symbol, but Ulysses found out that Lucius was going for the treasure and secretly advised him that he didn’t need an anchor winch. Marine mechanics in Melbourne could’ve told Lucius that yes, you do actually need an anchor winch, because it winches up the anchor, but Lucius trusted Ulysses. They were childhood friends, even though Lucius never knew that Ulysses was an android created to gain his trust and steal his family’s fabled Emerald of Wonder.

We all thought Ulysses had broken his programming, but here he is giving terrible boating advice. So then, of course. Lucius sails into the ocean without an anchor winch and an outboard motor that had frankly seen better days, in hopes of finding the legendary treasure and paying for his sister’s nasal reconstruction surgery, and maybe a trip to see giraffes on safari.

People in the forums were all up in arms over the portrayal of this outboard motor service, Melbourne businesses having taken a small hit because of the popularity of the show. I get that, obviously. If I did outboard motor repair and a boat on TV sent someone into the unknown, never to return, I’d be a bit annoyed.

Or rather…I would be until the end of the last episode, where the mysterious cloaked menace with a bottle-opener for a hand unveiled himself as…LUCIUS. Two years after he vanished!

Oh, the intrigue! Cannot WAIT until tomorrow night!