Dang it, Melbourne! Why do you have to be so cold, but never enough to come through with the snow? I know only too well that I’d be over it in short order, but a little flutter now and again wouldn’t go astray. I’m from Canada, you see, and sometimes I miss the crystalline winter wonderland vibes. Maybe I need to organise a drive out to alpine country.

Either that, or acknowledge that half the appeal of snow is, for me, the accoutrements. I’m talking cocoa with crushed peppermint sprinkled on top, served in novelty mugs, and ludicrously thick woollen socks. And, of course, a fireside by which to enjoy these delights. I do realise that I can enjoy all of these things in the absence of snow; it just feels a bit wrong somehow.

My current apartment has ducted heating, which does its job to perfection – that is, it keeps me warm as toast. There’s something unceremonious about it, though, compared to building a fire. It also requires regularly organising things like ducted heating repair services. Melbourne, you see, gets just cold enough for heating maintenance to be a priority in winter, but not cold enough for it to be a source of excitement.

Plus, regarding the dual need to install heating and cooling systems, Melbourne is a double edged sword. It seems that, if I’m not cleaning out my ducts, I’m booking in my air con for its annual check up. Never mind the fact that, with a fireplace, I’d be spending a sizeable chunk of my time sourcing, chopping and storing wood and kindling, and sweeping the chimney. 

Look, if it was actually snowing right now, I’d probably be having a whinge about that. I’m also aware that I’m neglecting to consider this region’s seasonal transition times, which are delightfully temperate. Melbourne’s not too bad. I just need to stock up on socks and cocoa, and be grateful I don’t have to arrange tyre chains or shovel snow out of the driveway.