When I was a kid, I always pictured offices as essentially resembling the ones portrayed in sitcoms – cubicles, paper-based files, fluorescent lights, awkward water cool banter and all. There was a certain kind of appeal to that, even though today, in the age of open plan offices with ergonomic furniture and natural light, the idea of working in one seems altogether terrible.

I’m not sure what the appeal was, to be honest – probably just the fact that it was on TV and contextualised by witty banter, which still holds a certain power to make the mundane seem somehow delightful. This is especially true when you weigh it up against reality. Take my real-life office, for example. The only thing I’ve heard today even approaching witty banter was Victor in accounts declaring that he was getting sun burnt through the window. Since then, I can’t stop peering at the back of his neck through the new office glass frosting on the flimsy partition dividing our desks.

See what I mean? Not a shred of comedic genius in sight. To be fair, I’m not exactly contributing much in that department – I’m too distracted by trying to see my computer screen through the intense summer glare that comes through the skylight in the afternoons. It’s as though my department manager has never heard of office building window tinting. Melbourne, what’s a guy to do?

Seriously, tell me. Is there some law under which I can force this issue of glare reduction? If nothing else, Victor probably has a legit case to make with regard to his sunburn issue, which I’ve just realised is obviously connected to mine. We should team up. This is cool, actually – I’m starting to see the makings of a sitcom coming together: “Hans and Victor team up to make a presentation to their boss when they realise that UV rays are the mutual cause of their respective problems.”