They finally revealed the look of Laconic the Hedge-frog, for the upcoming Laconic movie, and it’s horrifying. Just…wow. How do you get it so wrong? He doesn’t even look like a hedge-frog, and they’ve made him so skinny and small! He doesn’t even run anymore, he drives a really fast blue car.

I guess some of the things in life are designed to be disappointing. Like, I saved up for six years so I could get a car, and be the cool one with the car, and now…I’m just the one everyone begs for a ride. And cars are expensive, I’ll tell you. I’m almost on first-name terms with the mechanics in Bentleigh East, because I don’t really know how to fix a car, or…maintain a car, clearly. Those kind-hearted souls have showed me how to check the oil, and fatten up the tires for the harvest of driving on gravel roads, but I still end up at the mechanics all the time, so it seems.

I watched from afar as people were driving, and I didn’t know how many auto electrical problems I’d be having. I’ve been wanting a movie made about Laconic the Hedge-Pig for years now, then I finally get my wish and it’s just the absolute worst. Do not like. Not happy, Jan, or Fran, or Dan.

I’m thinking of changing to a moped. At the very least, it’s got a smaller engine: it’ll cost less to maintain and I don’t have to do so much searching for parking spaces. People will stop hounding me for rides…I mean, you look at a moped and what you do not think is ‘people carrier’. And I guess if I have to see someone about my auto electrical in Bentleigh East, and I break down on the way…I can just wheel it there. Less things to go wrong in general, that’s the joy.