I swear, copy-writing is the hardest kind of writing. If someone offered me a job writing limericks, I might just take it at this stage, because it’s getting…silly. I find the practice creatively draining, it’s like I’m putting my head in a vice every single day. Like…okay, today I had to write about high-end fashion. That’s REALLY high-end, where people look like they’re strutting around wearing garbage bags, and everyone claps and says ‘yes, good, wonderful, so chic, I’ll take many of these coats, take my dollars!’

I know nothing. It was almost a relief when I was put onto an assignment about under tray draws, because at least metal draws on a ute is straightforward. The concept, I mean. They’re aluminium trays…and they go under the ute. You draw them in, because they slide, and they hold things, as all good drawers do. There’s really only one thing you do with them, so I don’t have to waffle on for six paragraphs about how they fit the summer style, and how everyone will be wearing them eventually. You know, that tripe.

Oh, but what are they made of? Aluminium. It’s that simple; no sequins, or tri-blends of cotton, or woven silk of Peruvian fire ants. It’s aluminium. This set of aluminium accessories? They, also, are aluminium. They’re as aluminium as it gets. And those under body boxes? Guess what, they’re aluminium. If these all end up on the same page as the catalogue, then I don’t even think I’ll have to mention what the product is made of. It’ll just be the aluminium section, with added aluminium and wow, that word sounds weird now.

I don’t mind the occasional challenge- for example, there should be plenty of interesting things to say about tool box central locking– but if I’m going to be on something exhausting, I’d like it to be brief. No more fashion, please…it’s really bad for my brain.