We’ve been on holiday in Sydney for a few days now, and Missy and Chambers are starting to lose it. I know it’s hard being under five and everything, but seriously, can’t we just all just be content to sleep in til midday, go for a sauna and then hit a bar? I’m joking, but you know what I mean. Kids are so demanding with their constant need for action and adventure, not to mention their innocent yet vastly delusional expectation that everything be tailored to their specifications.

Well, today I’ve decided to go all out to try and give them those things on a silver platter. (Hidden agenda: I get to go back into holiday slob mode tomorrow, safe in the knowledge that I’m an okay dad.) It’s bucketing down outside, so I’m in the process of tracking down an indoor play centre in the Sydney area. Kasey thinks I’m a bit too keen to turn the terrors loose on some unsuspecting ball pit, but I reckon it’s a great idea. 20,000 plastic playballs should be able to stand up to two small children, right? As for the bouncy inflatable stuff, time will tell. I think Chambers is a bit young for it but Missy will surely be attacking anything even vaguely designed for kids to jump on. 

Now that I’m thinking about it, I guess I shouldn’t just palm them off on the staff. I could probably do with some exercise to balance out the daily martinis. It is kind of inevitable that I’ll jump in and have a run around myself, even if Missy has to shout incomprehensibly at me until I give in. One thing I’ll say for these kids’ indoor play venues is that they’re a pretty reliable way to get me out of the hotel when it’s not beach weather. I secretly have a thing for giant slides, and the only way I can feasibly get a go on one these days is by taking Chambers down it on my lap.

Okay, I’ve sufficiently psyched myself up for this. Let’s do it.